Something something Deftones something Star Wars something.

Apparently it’s summer in LA.

Apparently it’s summer in LA.

kateoplis:

“I haven’t always had depression. I talked to a few of my friends who knew me when I was in high school, and it was sort of this tragic/hilarious thing to explain to them. They were like, ‘But you were so happy,’ and I’d be like, ‘That person’s dead, I’m sorry.’
I’m at a good spot now. I’m still depressed, and it comes and goes, but I used to be very anxious, but now I’m not. Now, for me, 20% depressed is like perfect. I’m not anxious but I’m not mopey and numb, I’m just chilled out. I care just enough to be connected to life. I have to keep an eye out and notice the signs when things are taking a wrong turn. There’s not much I can do, but I can try to offset it. So far it hasn’t gotten back to that point.”
Hyperbole and a Half's Allie Brosh on Writing, Depression & Learning How to Handle Attention

kateoplis:

I haven’t always had depression. I talked to a few of my friends who knew me when I was in high school, and it was sort of this tragic/hilarious thing to explain to them. They were like, ‘But you were so happy,’ and I’d be like, ‘That person’s dead, I’m sorry.’

I’m at a good spot now. I’m still depressed, and it comes and goes, but I used to be very anxious, but now I’m not. Now, for me, 20% depressed is like perfect. I’m not anxious but I’m not mopey and numb, I’m just chilled out. I care just enough to be connected to life. I have to keep an eye out and notice the signs when things are taking a wrong turn. There’s not much I can do, but I can try to offset it. So far it hasn’t gotten back to that point.”

Hyperbole and a Half's Allie Brosh on Writing, Depression & Learning How to Handle Attention

I didn’t need you to fix me. I needed you to love me while I fix myself.
- Michelle K., Fixing Myself.  (via fuckinq)
Noir Series by Marco Manev

Noir Series by Marco Manev

How can I go home with nothing to say?
I know you’re going to look at me that way

And say what did you do out there? What did you decide?
You said you needed time and you had time.

Every lover I have ever had
gazed upon me like
a traveler wandering
through scorched earth.
Only to journey through me
to get to their picture perfect pastures.

The minute they are without
my cracked thundercloud
horizon, they realize that
I am not worth the charred bark
that litters my landscape.

"i was so brave to cross
such disaster to get to you.”
They always say,
to their new blue sky.
“i was so brave to love
this kind of ruin.”

- Brandon Speck. Tarot Poetry: Three of Wands (via brandonspeck)

Bruce Banner was not always The Hulk.
He became that way as a result of a failed experiment
with a Gamma Bomb. Most of us, I think
have some failure we can point to in our past.
“This,” we say, “This is why I’m monstrous.”

The Hulk does not hulk out randomly.
Only when he’s stressed, or angry.
When Bruce Banner disappears into the other guy,
he doesn’t remember being Bruce Banner,
He’s just some wild force of nature who can’t
control his hands.

Having an anxiety attack feels
like living through death.
A person should not be able to endure that kind of fear
and keep breathing. But still, every time
my lungs and heart betray me. I keep not dying.

The Hulk can’t kill himself. He has tried.
It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything
you love by trying to protect it wrong.

I keep trying to protect you from me.
From the nights when I drink the whole bottle,
From the days I don’t get out of bed and just hide
from everything. I don’t Deal With Things well.
I’m not Good At Being An Adult.

When I get scared I can’t control my hands,
I would do anything to make myself feel better.
Even hurt the ones who are trying to save me.

When I calm down, when I can breathe again,
I feel like a superhero at the end of the movie.
When the war is over, and the bad guy is gone,
and he has to walk home through the wreckage
of the city he destroyed by trying
to be a savior.

If I am being honest, I know
I can’t save you. I can’t even save myself.
The thing about the Hulk is he would give anything
to be less interesting.

To be normal, to never again wake up
naked and lonely, staring at the destruction
with no one to blame but himself.

cardboardmoose:

please don’t feel bad for not being able to love yourself!

loving yourself is a long and difficult process and it involves a lot of deprogramming yourself from the harmful bullshit that society and people have told you. you shouldn’t be made to feel weak or a failure for struggling with that.

take your time, and when you do feel able to love yourself, it’ll be wonderful and genuine and not a rushed fake thing

in the mean time, please take care of yourself!